I have my incense lit and pluming sexy Nag Champa scented smoke into the air, the cat is watching Dave Chapelle instead of torturously gnawing at my ankles and kneading my bare toes, my Monkey King Organic Jasmine Green Tea has been steeped for the appropriate three minutes, I’m chewing some raspberry flavored Orbit gum, and I even spent the last few hours cooking up some food for tomorrow. Why am I not inspired to write anything??? It could have something to do with my inner poet being disturbed by the hour long snaking session that the building superintendent had to do on my kitchen sink. I guess it could have been worse (like the time the poor guy had to come up and auger the toilet, which he followed up by embarrassing me even further in scolding me for flushing tampons). Or it could be that all day I’ve been suddenly realizing that my classes start next Saturday and I’m remembering all the work I’m going to have to do for them. I also have to fit in a lot more training for the TSS job that I haven’t started yet, and to be honest, I’m not sure if I have the energy to follow through on that. Quitting smoking may actually have been enough for me to not have to have a second job. This month’s budgeting was all sorts of screwed up between my Cabana reserve money and birthday money and figuring in extra spending and extra gas money….well, I’m actually looking ok for this month, without the second job. I’m tired. Very, very tired of the two jobs and school and babysitting thing. I’m almost starting to regret taking last week off, if only because it made me remember how good it feels not to work every single day. To actually have time to get chores and things done. To spend more than just the time it takes to wake up, shower and go to sleep in my apartment. I guess last week gave me a preview of what I’ve been wanting for such a long time now: the time to enjoy myself, my surroundings, the company of someone I love, and life in general. So, in one move I yanked off my blinders and got to see the world outside of my one major goal. It had two effects. It has made me realize that there are other, more important things out there besides work and school (which I knew before, but now I feel it in my gut as well as think it in my head). It has also driven my desire to finish school into maximum overdrive. I am really struggling to not bail on my lease, quit my job, move home and go to school full time RIGHT NOW. I would have done that in the past, but now I’m trying to be an adult and plod through the next six months like I had originally planned. Only now, between the money I’m saving on cigarettes and the money I’m saving on benefits at the new job, I may be able to avoid taking the second new job.

Well.

I guess my free flowing, poetic machinations are going to remain limited to my fridge magnets this evening. Seems the real world has too strong a hold on my thoughts to allow for any blogariffic whimsy.