“Korie, I broke your bones?”
“Nah, that’s a wire. I have a bra on…like mommies wear.”
“You wear a bra?”
“Uh huh, and the wire is poking out of this one.”
“Korie?”
“Yeah?”
“I broke your boobies.”
“Can you just sing Twinkle Twinkle like the other kids are doing?”

“Kowie!”
“I’m busy cleaning up, are you going potty like I asked you to?”
“Kowie, come heeeah.”
sigh, quick wipe of the table, enter bathroom
“Yeah? What’s up?”
“Where’s the part where the peepee comes out?” (this is a boy speaking, fyi, all the better to establish a mental picture with, fair readers)
“Um, it’s there. Just, when you sit down to go pee, sometimes it sort of gets, um, it gets, uh, it hides under the rest of your skin.”
“Oh look!” child pulls back skin “There it is!”
“Wait! Point it back down before you….”
“Oops.”

Quick Disclaimer: Today I had a white T-shirt on and I guess the kids could see the design on my bra through my shirt. These kids have known me for over a third of their lives and sometimes get sort of touchy feely. So one of the kids next to me noticed the pattern under my shirt and went to touch it and I grabbed her hand before she did so and told her it was ok to look, but not to touch my chest. Another girl was sitting there too and she initiated the following conversation. Y’know, just so you don’t think I run around the daycare topless giving free anatomy lessons to the kiddies.

“Koooorie”
“Whaa-aaat”
“I can’t touch your nipples?”
“What?!”
“I can’t touch your nipples?”
“No, see, there are some parts you can touch on other people’s bodies, like holding hands or hugging. But there are some parts you can’t touch on other people’s bodies, like nipples.”
“I can touch my nipples?”
(If it keeps you from trying to poke mine or anyone else’s )”Sure kiddo, go for it.”

All I know is, y’know how some people say that people should take classes before being allowed to be parents? Some days feel like a crash course, full immersion, no holds barred lesson in all the strange crap that parents have to deal with that no book ever has the answer to. And while I do sometimes get exasperated in how I have to weave my words to fit the mind of a young preschooler, I also realize that I’m now more prepared to have a child than half the parents whose kids I take care of. Go figure.