There’s a competition going on over at My Mommy’s Place. Pretty much you just write a haiku or two or a few or a slew (I can keep going…haiku is actually not the form of poetry in which I typically excel, but I’ll spare you) and then it’s judged over at My Mommy’s Place. So I was exchanging an email with Jenn in Holland and I mentioned how popular (for a blog that is lucky to have 20 readers a day, it was popular, ok?) my skinpee post was and how I should enter a haiku about it for Haiku Buckaroo. Well, Jenn supported that idea so I decided to try it out.
Furthermore, after I followed this post up with some pictures from Scotland, I friend of mine asked me (hi MAK) if I was no longer feeling depressed. Well, sorry to dissapoint, but I’m still pretty depressed and severely anxious now that I’ve found out a bit more about the success rate of students who go to university after they pass the language program (almost all of them fail their first year because they can’t understand the professors…either they talk too fast for non native Dutch speakers or they have strong dialects or a combination of both. I mean, I figured it would be hard but we were basically told on Wednesday that we would fail, despite all the work we’ve done over the past 9 months). So yeah, I’m depressed and anxious and struggling internally more than I care to try to explain. Don’t get me wrong. I love my Cabana Boy and I feel lucky to be experiencing life as an expatriate. I can’t live without my boyfriend. He is the love of my life and I’ll never give up on us and our future together. But at the same time I ‘m seeing all my other dreams slide through my fingers like sand. Everything I was working towards in the United States as far as education and a career…I see it fading a little more every week and that’s tearing me apart. I know I’m not always letting you all know how I feel about those sorts of things, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. So I tried haikus about that as well.
Gazing at the sky
Trapped behind these thick brick walls
Built in my own mind
••••
My tongue is twisted
The right words are in my mind
My throat holds them in
••••
Hot tears every time
I think of the little hands
That I can’t hold now
3:55 pm
Family love is
Always there to give support
Whenever needed
4:55 pm
It’s gonna be tough, but you’ll make it.
So what if it takes ONE year longer than you anticipated?
What is ONE year in a lifetime Korie?
You have the love of your life right beside you.
THAT is the most important of all!
Hugs xxx
8:02 pm
First of all - thank you for your comment on my blog today
Secondly - don’t give up! You are so strong to pick up and move to another country - I know, been there, done that! You however have a challenge than I do in so far as at least they speak my language here in the US!
There’s a common Irish saying ‘What’s for you won’t go by you’ - you’ll find a way!
8:03 pm
Nothing worth having is worth getting easy. You’ll appreciate this more and more. Stick with it. You’ve been doing so good!
I would love to be an ex-pat. You are so lucky!
8:20 pm
First—-> (((hug)))
Second–> You have chosen something worth going for. Don’t let failure scare you…one of the rules for success is failing multiple times but going on anyway. Your going to fall, but do you have the courage to pick yourself up? I didn’t, not really, and I will regret it the rest of my life…putting off for fear what I should have done first…
Any way…the depression thing…gad. It is evil, isn’t it? Most of your battle is beating this thing that is physical!
2:05 am
dapoppins! honey you just rocked that little comment box all over the place! i thought you said you were going to put foot in mouth. no feet in mouths there!
and yes, yes i did. i just addressed someone else in your comment section. i so suck. send me to the corner now. do iT!
let me rewrite that:
didn’t dapoppins just rock that little comment box? and she said she was going to put foot in mouth. ha!
better, yeah?
3:03 am
I love the haiku! And while I love the first two for introducing me to skinpee, the last three are exceptional.
You’re an incredibly brave girl to move to another country and make a life there. You may feel as if you’re struggling right now, but you seem like the kind of person that will push through and come out on the other side stronger.
Thanks so much for entering my contest!
11:32 pm
Oh, honey. Hang tough. Don’t cry.
and thanks for visiting my blog
you is funny
11:54 am
Living on the other side of the world, in a new culture, away from family and friends can be very tough, even though you get to do, see, meet fantastic new people/places/activities.
Combined with studying pressure, it can seem too much sometimes. I studied with a Bulgarian at UG who succeeded after taking the language lessons though. So it is possible, just go for it!
11:18 pm
Amazing haiku - the epidermal pee line is a classic (in terms of humor) and the gazing at the sky one is a classic period. Brilliant.
FWIW, Korie, can you put off your program a year or even a semester and continue with intensive language study? Maybe trade a retired Dutch teacher/professor for English lessons or something similar? Then attack the program when you’re ready? Then you can have your life in Belgium, your beloved CB and your dreams? You’re still young. Really. I just mean in terms of getting it all done.
Enormous, ginormous hugs to you. BTW… I left you some bling - don’t remember if you saw it. (That’s my feeble mind at work).