Lilac Colored Glasses

Every so often I mention my struggle with being overweight on this blog.  Sometimes I’m complaining about my lack of self discipline, sometimes I’m talking about how hard it is to find clothing that fits (as in, I don’t, I get it in the States), and this past autumn I mentioned that I had successfully lost almost 30 pounds, which was about half of what I needed to lost to have a BMI in the normal range.

Well, despite the fact that I promised myself that that would be it, my permanent lifestyle change, it pretty much broke down in November. I don’t really feel the need to go into why because there are several reasons. But what it boils down to was that it was easier to stop paying attention to how I ate. And the more weight I saw piling back on the more upset I got and the more I ate. And now? Now I’m right back where I started.

Now, in case you haven’t heard, CB and I are getting married in May of next year. Which means I have 15 months until I have to look fabulous in a wedding gown. I weighed myself yesterday, got the food measuring scale out this morning and started tracking what I ate today using www.sparkpeople.com. And now, what I’m about to do is something I don’t think I’ve ever done directly on my blog.

I currently weigh 230 pounds (that’s 104.2 kilos).

My goal is to weigh 165 pounds for my wedding (74.8 kilos).

I’m leaving myself plenty of room for the occasional “aww dammit I just couldn’t pass up the chocolate cake” moments as well as plateaus and anything else that can crop up on the path to losing weight. I’m telling you this because this blog is something important to me and I get a lot of encouragement simply from the fact that you show up here to read what I have to write.

I’m hoping that by keeping you up to date on my progress that I’ll also be able to hold myself accountable easier; that my first “aww dammit I just couldn’t pass up the chocolate cake” moment is only one moment rather than a progressive sequence that eventually leads to chocolate cake for all of my meals. So once a week, probably Sundays or Mondays, I’ll let you know how it’s going. If I feel extra inspired I may even start up a little food journal page to help keep track, although the spark page works as long as I use it.

Thanks to all of you for reading and caring.