Lilac Colored Glasses

Did you know that even if you are residing outside of the United States and not earning any income from any employer in or in any way associated with the United States that you still have to file taxes?

I’m not sure why because I’m pretty sure you’re exempt from paying them. But you still have to file.

Because the life of an immigrant isn’t complicated enough.

My mom found this out and informed me of the situation back in January and when I went to go find my monthly pay statements from the tele-research place in Antwerp I realized that I managed to lose the statement for October. I had September and November but no October. Fortunately at the time I was working at the same company again for a project on sleep labs so I asked my supervisor if I could get another copy of my statement from October. She told me that their company uses a third party vendor to pay their employees (which I knew already from the debacle where I didn’t get paid for my first month of work until almost 2 weeks after I was supposed to) and therefore the company itself doesn’t have anyof that paperwork and I needed to call the tax office in Gent.

When I told CB this he said she was wrong and that I should totally be able to get a copy of October’s pay by asking my employer. After that I was let go from the sleep lab project early due to the tendonitis in my finger which is the same now if not worse…and let’s not even get into the pain I’ve been having in the left side of my jaw, and I basically sulked around for most of February until CB basically said (as nicely and helpfully as he could) that I had to get my ass in gear because otherwise we’ll be poor and struggling and I don’t qualify for a replacement income here because I have yet to be employed for an entire year.

So I contacted the woman who had taken charge the last time I had money issues with my former employer and she replied that she was sick and will be out all week. I even tried calling the 3rd party vendor but they refuse to deal with anyone other than the designated contact person from the employer…a.k.a the one that is sick. The end result is that hopefully I’ll hear something at the beginning of next week and I’ll be able to get my monthly statement from October before we leave for Pittsburgh in April.

But that’s not all! Oh no, not even close because yesterday CB received an e-mail from my mom (still can’t figure out why she didn’t tell me directly…mom, wanna share on this?) telling us that local taxes needed some sort of proof that I was residing in Belgium. You’d think that’d be easy now that I have both a drivers license and an ID card from Belgium right?

Ha.

The privacy laws here are tighter than over in the good ol’ US of A which means that my address is not on any of my forms of Belgian ID. Also, since my mom’s message was so vague, CB did a search of what sort of documentation I’d have to provide to the federal government and we stumbled upon this page which basically said I had to provide proof that I’d been living abroad for the entire fiscal year.
Probelm there is that I moved here on Christmas day. Everything was closed until after New Years so my official paperwork registers me in Gent as of January 10, 2008. 9 days too late.

So, trying to straighten this out (before the vein in my forehead exploded) I first called the U.S. embassy in Paris and found out that everyone there leaves for their lunch 20 minutes early. Then I called to the international tax assistance office in Philadelphia. The phone call went something like this:

ring ring
insert voice automated menu here
bleep (that’s me pushing 2 for international tax questions)
Marsha: Hello this is Marsha Smith. My identity number is 1212345-12345, how may I help you?
Me: Good morning. I’ve been living abroad in Belgium for over a year now and I was just informed that I may have to provide proof of my residence here for the fiscal year of 2007. I have a plane ticket dated December 25, 2007 but due to the holiday season I was unable to be officially registered in Belgium until January 10, 2008. I can get proof of this and I also have proof here that I am still currently living in Belgium. I would like to know if this is sufficient for the physical presence test and if it’s not, what other steps I ought to take. gasps for breath
Marsha: That’s a policies issue ma’am, let me forward you to someone who can help.
soothing elevator music and the sound of my pulse in my ears
Ralph: Hello this is Ralph Jones. My identity number is 5656789-56789, how may I help you?
Me: Lather, rinse and repeat
Ralph: No ma’am. We don’t need any of that information unless you’re audited. You just need to file as a bona fide resident and we pretty much take your word for it.
Me: Thank you very much.
click

About an hour later I called home to ask my mother who exactly needed this information, because the federal government didn’t need it and it seems like they’re sort of the most important party when it comes to taxes.
Was it Pennsylvania requesting it? No.
Was it Allegheny County requesting it? No.
Well, shit, was it Plum Borough requesting it? No.

Fuck me sideways and upside down.

It was the fucking Plum School District.

The school district refuses to believe that I am no longer a resident of the United States of America and requires some sort of proof that I live in Belgium.

Asshats.

Fortunately we have a scan of our samenswoning contract that states my name and address and that we live together so I sent that to my mom.

And they better hope that I don’t have to make a personal appearance as further proof of my new residence. Cause I’ll bring my toilet brush and my Activia. And a pissed off monkey’s got nothin’ on me when it comes to flinging poo.

Related posts:

1. Ask And ye Shall Receive Part Deux
2. Trial (and Tribulation) Run