Lilac Colored Glasses

This one is coming ‘atcha via Bubblewench, a fellow Pennsylvanian, although she hails from the Portland area originally I believe. Probably the first thing that caught my eye about Bubblewench is that she loves pirates as much, if not more than I do. Also, I guess I’ll add here that Flemish Belgians speak Dutch but are Belgian, so CB is Belgian or Flemish (so that #3 doesn’t confuse anyone).

I’ve never done this ‘guest post’ thing before and honestly, I almost forgot. Then I remembered so here I am. So while Lilacspecs is in PA, planning for her wedding, you’re stuck with me.

Orignally (when I first lovingly volunteered for this) I had an idea. That idea was that I would write all about Lilacspecs home vs. My home. Or as the voices in my head kept saying: Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Philadelphia Eagles. who back in 1943 were known as The Steagles! (you can go research that yourself, I’m already educated in that area).

Ok, sounded great.. moved on.. and got grander.. so the voices said “Hey take that a step further!” and the grand plan was hatched (in my head).

Head came up with a plan.. remember how the Dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding was able to connect everything back to Greek? No matter what.. I could, no, I couldn’t… YES I should try to connect everything Steagles back to the Dutch! Why the hell not?

Sounds good huh? Sounded awesome for my first guest post ever. Knock em dead with my knowledge of NFL history!

Right off the bat I learned a few things quick..

1. I don’t know shit about NFL history except for the Eagles.

2. No amount of research (oh.. a good 2 minutes) would I be able to connect anything about the Dutch to The Steagles … because..

3. I don’t know shit about the Dutch except that sometimes they make Lilacspecs life a living hell, and some Dutchdude (hi CB) makes it a pure joy.

Oh crap. I’m screwed. So there’s me & my head trying to come up with something.

Here’s what I came up with.. all the things that ran through my head when I thought of Dutch

Little blonde boys… (LEGAL ones pervs!)

Dykes.. both kinds.. oh la la!! (Where do I stick my finger?)

Candy (and I have no clue why I make that connection)

Wooden shoes

Is Dutch the same as Netherlands?

Isn’t Dutch like Holland?

Dutch Oven (still giggling!)

Dutchie, ya know that song.. Pass the Dutchie.. right?

Do dogs bark in Dutch and cats meow in Dutch?

Damn, I don’t know anything ‘real’ about the Dutch

Besides just flat out entertaining myself with all that (Dutch Oven, hee..hee..snort.. snort), I still really had nothing. So I turned off the Head Google and tried the real one, and here the top 5 things I learned about the Dutch:

Boy I am a tardo… Holland IS the Netherlands, and Holland all at the same time! WHOA!  *ok, I lie, I did know that, I know EXACTLY where Amsterdam is*

I failed Spanish and German. There is no way in hell I’d ever try to learn Dutch. Holy crap Lilacspecs! How the  hell!

That awful movie Dutch back in 1991

The Dutch had really cool submarines in Royal Netherlands Navy. You know those dudes were underwater Pirates! Aarrrgggghh!! Glub glub glub….rrrgggh!

And there are about 200,000 results if you type in Dutch, I still don’t know shit about the Dutch

After that, I decided to just let it go, and do the best I can as a guest. It’s just space filler til Lilacspecs comes back anyway.

One dumb American’s thoughts and search on the Dutch (Dutch Oven, tee..hee..tee hee.. snort.. snort), hoping to find NFL glory and some damn Dutch connection to the Steagles.

Maybe some other time.