Wow England, You’re Lamer Than We Thought
Disclaimer: I know at least one person reading this is English and for the record, I have an English friend in real life, so please, I hope those two people (or any other sane English citizens) don’t take offense to what I’m about to say. It is, for the most part, aimed at British media, not individual people.
In case you weren’t aware, the European Union decided to have a president. The function of the EU president is pretty much that of mediator between heads of state in the EU. He should be a person who is adept in the art of compromise. The three front runners for this position were Holland’s Jan Balkenende, Belgium’s Herman Van Rompuy and… wait for it… The U.K.’s Tony Blair.
Yeah, that’s right, W.’s little lapdog. The guy who lied right along with the rest of the American right wing by saying that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and sent British soldiers to the desert to die in a war that was based on a lie.
I can’t honestly tell you much about Balkenende other than that he said he didn’t want the office of EU president but then quietly rallied for it. As far as Van Rompuy, this man is well known in Belgium as an intelligent, financially savvy, poetic politician who basically took up the mantle of prime minister in Belgium against his own wishes when Yves Leterme dropped the ball during the Fortis bank crisis last December. Tony Blair is… well, I imagine you all know Tony Blair. the sad thing is America portrays him as a good guy just because he was “on our side” when it came to sending troops to Iraq.
Half of our own country wasn’t “on our side” when it came to sending troops to Iraq. So Tony is about as good a guy as, um…W.
And anyone who knows me at all should know that to me that puts Tony somewhere above the Bubonic plague but just below a pus-encrusted pond scum sandwich.
Moving on…
The past few days the news here in Belgium started picking up something interesting.
The British media had started slinging mud at Van Rompuy, and Belgium in general. I believe the initial headline was: “Britain ruled by a Belgian? You must be joking.”
The media (including the BBC) went on to criticize Van Rompuy’s name, Belgian beer, roads and pretty much anything else they could come up with an excuse to criticize. Which Belgium found interesting because their take on the EU presidency was that it could be achance for England to become a closer part of the EU as a whole. You know…work together as an economic community…compromise and do the whole give and take thing (when it comes to the U.K.’s involvement in the EU they currently take what they like and give as little as possible). Apparently, in the meantime, England deluded themselves into believing that the president of the EU would be some sort of ruling force. So, like, what England? Where you trying to conquer Europe? Cause those glory days died back about the time that America kicked your sorry asses in the Revolutionary War.
Yeah, that’s right.
You’re offended by being “ruled” (ruled meaning, in reality, being mediated in any disagreements between yourselves and other countries in the EU) by a Belgian? But you weren’t offended by your Prime Minister shoving his nose up the ass of the leader of the country that bent you over and jammed your tea bags right back where they belonged? Wow. I mean. Seriously. And the best part is, the party that Blair was rubbing up on all that time? Right wing America? They’ll be the first ones to tell you how lame you are. They’ll be happy to remind you that you’d be part of the Third Reich right now if it wasn’t for the good ol’ boys coming in and cleaning up your European mess for you.
And you really think Blair would be a good neutral mediator? When the first thing his country did was try to run a smear campaign against the opposition? When his response to a war situation was to order troops into battle more than any other Prime Minister in British history? I’m sorry, but I’m just totally flabbergasted at the nerve of the British press. It amazes me that there is this expectation that England would be good at ruling anything.
England has been America’s bitch since September 1783. You’d think they’d've learned to lose gracefully by now.
As of this evening Herman Van Rompuy is the first President of the European Union.
I guess we’ll see how well England can handle being “ruled” by Belgium.
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Haha! I take it the disclaimer was for me…
Don’t worry, I completely agree and have been working on a similar post (I am that slow!). Although… less of the America’s bitch, thank you!
I don’t really understand the UK’s obsession with not being in Europe. The Daily Express and The Sun are among the worst papers for dramatising eeeeverything though and sadly, the people who tend to read them don’t know any better. Maybe they’ll feel a bit better when they see the other post has gone to a Brit (and a woman!!! – Harriet Harman will be pleased).
It’s at times like this I’m glad not to live there any more.
You can look forward to my own rant sometime soon…!
Ah well, we’ll just keep spitting in the Stella Artois we export to Little Brittain.
Hi Korie,
I think it’s cute that as a non-Belgian you felt so strongly about these insults.
Whenever I’m in London I see these headlines on the anti-Eu tabloids and always shake my head in disbelief. How can a civilised country tolerate such biased media? It’s insane. They are always so full of lias such as indeed as if the president of the EU is now going to make independantly decisions that will affect their lives. That’s simply not true so stop lying to your compatriotes.
Additionally I’ve never gotten the UK’s hate attitude towards the EU while they still remain a member.
So their recent bit of mud throwing to Belgium as a whole (our food, beer, right hand lane driving, Jean-Claude Van Damme, ….anything they could come up with was mocked), didn’t surprise me neither shocked me . Which doesn’t make it pleasant of course.
However a Wallonian newspaper has returned the insults with a list of 10 things to hate by the UK ….that doesn’t make me proud either.
Pfffffff stupid journalists, stupid stupid liars.
I believe,I of little world news knowledge(living across the pond if you will)mentioned this whole thing to you,before you even heard about.Here’e one for WTAE channel 4 news right here in the “burgh”.
The funny thing is: I’m sure that the only thing that would make the UK press complain even more about the EU and its institutions is if its little magnificent island got kicked out.
I obviously disagree about Britain being America’s bitch (yep, our leaders do kowtow to the US but the majority of the population are longing for Hugh Grant to be voted into office and to tell Billy Bob Thornton where to stick it, just like in the film… ahem), and I hope you were being ironic with the ‘you’d be part of the Third Reich by now’ comment… please don’t be one of those Americans who thinks you saved our arses in WWs 1 and 2, etc, etc ad infinitum.
However. I do hate, loathe and detest the manipulative character of the British press (not to mention the fact that so many intelligent people – including my parents – trust it: this is really galling). I also can’t bear Euroscepticism. And yes, you are right, the UK is not ‘Great’ enough to stand alone and Eurosceptics conveniently ignore the fact that if we’re not ‘ruled’ by the EU as an equal (indeed major) partner then we’ll be under the US thumb, with a lot less say in the matter. Damn it, this is frustrating.
So yes, with you on Eurosceptics and the press, slightly smarting from the tone though
I’ve actually been in Paris for the past couple of days and haven’t had a chance to check the British press yet: may have to have relaxing herbal tea on hand before diving into for example the website of the awful Daily Mail…
Well, about all I can say is that W isn’t still in office for a very good reason, and not just for term limits.
Although the sore losers comment was kind of funny.
Hi there,
I just wanted to let you know how much I love your blog. I am married to a ‘gantois’ (I don’t know how to say this in Dutch or I would!) and we are considering moving back. Right now we are in California and where we live the school system is in shambles. So we’ve got 2 years or so to make up our minds before our baby is ready for kluterklas (or however you spell it).
I searched for expat blogs based in Gent and magically found yours! I was/am happy and relieved to know there is at least one American with similar politics there. Really.
Thanks a bunch for your humor and insights! J
@CB CB – sadly the majority of Brits think that Stella is French… But yes, keep spitting – I can’t think of anyone I like who drinks Wife Beater!