Lilac Colored Glasses

Muffins are not a Belgian thing.

Neither are brownies.
But we sell both of those things at the coffee kiosk (despite the fact that the company is British and brownies/muffins aren’t British things either), so occasionally I have to explain what a brownie or muffin is.
More often the muffin, since the brownie is slowly creeping onto the shelves in supermarkets.
And sometimes this is a dilemma because terminology here for baked goods is different than in the U.S.

For instance, in America, we have specific names for everything. There are the blanket terms “baked goods” and “pastries” but within those categories there are specifics like cupcakes and pies and brownies and muffins and scones. Or danish and blintzes and croissants and eclairs.

Descriptions here are often much more broad. Pretty much everything baked that isn’t “brood” (bread) or “taart” (cake) is grouped under the category of “koek” (everything else). This includes all pastries, crunchy cookies, wafer cookies, etc.
So, if I’m running to the bakery for pastries? I’m going to get “koffiekoeken.” If I’m describing a brownie then I say “het is een soort zachte chocolade koek” (it’s a sort of soft chocolate “koek”). If I’m looking for cookies I look for “koekjes.” So how exactly does one describe a muffin? It’s not flat or thin or crunchy or made of puff pastry. It’s obviously not bread and it doesn’t fit the Belgian definition of cake which is much softer and creamier than what Americans call cake.

Interestingly enough, Belgians distinguish their own cake (taart) from the spongier version, which they call “cake”. Keeping all of this in mind, can you see how, when someone comes up and asks me if the muffins are “cakeskes” (little cakes), my first instinct is to say no. Because they aren’t cakes, dammit, they’re muffins! Muffins have bits of stuff in them and they’re considered acceptable as breakfast food and they don’t have icing.

But they’re baked and spongy and don’t fit into the bread or taart categories…

So in the end, I give up.

“Ja,” I say, “da’s zo een cakeske.” (Yes, that’s a little cake)

I’m not talking about the weather, which was warmish for a whole day a week or so ago and has dipped back down to irritatingly, but not quite freezing cold.

No, I’m talking about something else entirely.

See, I haven’t been blogging much about work (okay, I haven’t been blogging much about anything), but that’s sort of a good thing. It means no drama, no problems, no nothing. The worst thing I could say about it is that my knees have really started to constantly hurt from standing for hours, but that’s partially my fault for forgetting to take a five minute break to sit every couple hours or so. There are some interesting things that occur, like last week when we ran out of milk at 5:30 in the evening. All we could serve for the rest of the night was black coffee, milkshakes (made from a milkshake mix, not milk), and tea (but not the chai steamer, cause that’s made with milk). Talk about impotence…a coffee place with no milk.

And there have been a few encounters with shitty customers, although in all honesty I can only think of two right away and they were both yesterday. One guy was pissy cause his cappuccino was taking too long and he was yelling at me to hurry up and tried to grab his drink while I was putting a lid on it, so I tossed the lid at him and he slammed it down and stormed away. Hey, if you decide to get into a huge line during rush hour and ask for a drink that requires the barista to foam the milk (takes 5 minutes tops if there’s no spare foam around, which there will never be during rush hour), well, you’re fucking stupid. So don’t do it if you’re in a hurry. There was also a woman who ordered a coffee and a croissant (3€) and put a single euro down on the counter, insisting she’d already paid me the other two. Which was complete bullshit. The order was still on my register and no receipt had printed cause she hadn’t paid me yet. Although it is more interesting to argue with someone in Dutch as opposed to the mind numbing repetition of “milk or sugar? cocoa or cinnamon?”. I won that one though. The woman haughtily said she’d check her money to prove she’d paid (cause, like, I would have had a clue what she started out with in her wallet in the first place?) and afterwards she shut her face and gave me two more euros. Cause that’s what she owed me and her wallet must’ve proved it to her.

There have been two encounters that I know of where kids have made fun of me for speaking english (both times I was replying in English to coworkers who only speak english or prefer to speak english). The first time didn’t bother me much cause they were teenage girls and understood enough that I could be passive aggressive enough to embarass the one and my Dutch coworker told off the group of them. The second time was some bratty ten year old who never made eye contact and spoke in a fake voice and was, in general, an asshole. He was incredibly amused when I asked my Turkish colleague for a strawberry milkshake and basically stood there mocking me to his friend while I contemplated simply handing his money back and telling him to get his milkshake somewhere that met his language standards. That one bothered me more, though I really can’t say why, it just did.

Cause for me it’s still a really big accomplishment that I can speak a second language. Plus I can stumble through enough French to take a French speaking person’s order, and I’m picking up a bit in Spanish as well. In Belgium it’s no big deal to be multi-lingual, but for me it is and it’s hurtful to be mocked, even if it is by an insignificant little pest.

So anyway, through all of this, there are my coworkers*, all of whom I get along with and most of whom I really have fun with. And the hours are a little weird, but I don’t mind it so much, especially because I’m able to request the days I prefer to have off as long as I ask a few weeks ahead of time, so there is tons of flexibility. And I received my first full month’s pay yesterday and I’m definitely making about 300€ more a month than I was at the crèche.

But yesterday (yes, a lot happened yesterday customer interaction-wise) I received what I consider to be one of the best compliments I’ve gotten since I moved here. There was a man in his late sixties or maybe seventies who had ordered a cappuccino and was waiting patiently for his drink (which earned him major brownie points from me before h e even opened his mouth). I was trying to explain something to my Romanian colleague in English but ended up switching over to Dutch to finish the conversation and afterwards the customer said to me (in Dutch, of course), “You speak with perfect American English accent and a perfect Flemish accent. Where are you from?”
And I grinned and told him I was American and he said, “Your Flemish accent is perfect!”
And I thanked him and after he got his drink and walked away I did a little happy dance. It was one of the warmest little rays of sunshine I’ve ever had in Belgium.

*You will never read about my Belgian colleagues cause I have none. Apparently immigrants make the best coffee.

I was just downstairs, casually spreading some shrimp in dill sauce on a cracker when it occurred to me that my eating habits and preferences have definitely changed over the past two years. Some of it definitely has to do with availability, but some of it is definitely exposure to new things and taste combinations. Here are some comparisons I came up with off the top of my head.

What I snack on?
Then: Kettle Chips and Helluva Good French Onion Dip
Now: Shrimp in dill sauce and wheat crackers (usually KrispRolls)

What I miss the most: Triscuits with sharp cheddar cheese and spicy mustard

Soups in my pantry?
Then: Campbell’s Hearty Steak and Potato, Campbell’s Chicken and Wild Rice
Now: Campbell’s Leek Bisque with Scallops, Knorr’s Broccoli with Boursin

What I miss most: New England Clam Chowder

Late night munchies?
Then: Sheetz MTO or nachos grande
Now: Kebap or fries

What I miss the most: Sheetz, I do so miss Sheetz. SHEEEEETZ!!!!!

Morning pick me up?
Then: Grande non-fat caramel macchiato
Now: Koffie verkeerd (a.k.a a simple latte)

What I miss the most: The choice to have skim milk or a larger size

Favorite restaurant?
Then: Toss up between Red Lobster, Shogun and Don Pablos
Now: Alaturka (Turkish cuisine, probably best Turkish pizzas in Gent), Kastart (really awesome pasta place)

What I miss most: Affordable seafood and real Tex Mex food

Tipsy time?
Then: Margaritas, SoCo and cranberry with a twist of lime, Yuengling or Guinness
Now: Pinot des Charentes, Kir Royal, Rodenbach, Tripel Karmeliet

What I miss most: Frangelico

And don’t get me wrong, this is totally not my day to day diet, just some noticeably different tastes I’ve developed since moving here.

You probably notice I haven’t been blogging much lately.
And I haven’t, aside from the {W}rite-Of-Passage prompts. Now that site has gone on hiatus for March as Mrs. Flinger, the creator, is moving.

I’ve tried writing posts a few times but I barely manage to tick out a full sentence before losing steam and puttering off to play here or here. It doesn’t mean I’m not writing at all though. I am currently creating characters, often while on my way to work or during my break. Which means all my writing is ending up in my notebook, napkins and the backs of the pastry sleeves. It also means I’ve started rethinking the constantly mocking, never quite inspiring idea of writing a book.
Yes, I know all bloggers seem to be writing their memoirs these days, but I’ve actually been toying with the book idea since I was…oh… seven years old or so.
Obviously I excel in the field of procrastination.

The one time I did actually sit and write a chapter or two in earnest, the only two people who read it (Scooter and Bub, who is now finishing his MFA in creative writing…if you knew us back when we dated, you’d be struck dumb by the irony in this) really liked it and wanted me to continue. Sadly, that was also the year I had my little breakdown and the chapters were lost somewhere during some drunken, depressed rage or another. I’ve started bookmarking pages in order to re-research the main character, but that’s about all it has come to. Now, however, physical descriptions, character traits, plotlines have all been throwing themselves at me and I’ve begun to jot them down, catagorize, develop.

It’s a new idea, a fresher idea and oddly enough looks like it’s going in a fantasy fiction direction.

Cause I guess my real life just isn’t dramatic enough anymore.
Which brings me back around to the title of this post. I’ve always written my best while in the throws of anxiety attacks, depression, anger, desperation. Poetry in particular was my outlet for all of these negative emotions. But the poetry well dried up a long time ago and the emo-blogg elegance seems to have slowly crept away now too. My nice, settled real life with its steady job, fun coworkers, loving fiancé, two cats and supportive family has rendered me silent.

I’m really not sure what to do about this. I’m thinking maybe the people who still read this may have things they want to hear about. Stories I promised to tell but never did, specific questions about living in a foreign country that I’ve never addressed. If you do, please speak up. Otherwise I’ll try to find some things to write about outside of the prompts given by {W}rite-Of-Passage.

This is my response to {W}rite-Of-Passage Challenge #11: What is is that you believe in your core? Values, morals, etc. Write in a way that is fair and balanced but real and honest.

I believe there are no absolutes. This one, I think, is self explanatory.

I believe in karma. I’m a real believer in “what goes around comes around” and I try to live by that belief the best I can every day. If I see and old woman struggling with a heavy bag, I try to help. If I see a child trip and fall, I offer to pick them up. I try to nod and say hello to neighborhood people when I walk by. I do my best to be good to people who seem to need it. And I can only hope that when I need it, my karma will pay me a visit.

I believe in love. I believe that there is true love and if it is the real thing, it can overcome pretty much everything short of death.

I believe that the majority of people in the world are born inherently “good.” As I said above, I do not believe in absolutes, so I do not believe that every human born is inherently good, but I sincerely believe that most people, in essence, are good people.

I believe it is possible to be a spiritual person without believing in god(s).

I believe life isn’t truly lived until it is lived outside of your comfort zone. If you never leave your hometown, or your first job, or your first love, you never experience all of the things in life that are available to experience. If you don’t take chances with your life, you pass up all of the opportunities to enrich it.

I believe in capital punishment, and in such cases I believe in “an eye for an eye.” Some people may feel this is brutal but I honestly believe that in some cases, society is better off without some individuals in it. I also believe that a person who inflicts intentional, cruel suffering on others, to the point where they knowingly and intentionally end the person’s life, should experience that same suffering and cruelty.

I believe that people are responsible for their own choices and actions. I believe that each of us must own what we do in life. the choices we make and the actions we take are conscious and (hopefully) educated decisions. They may be right, they may be wrong, but they are ours and we must be responsible for them.