Lilac Colored Glasses

I wanted CB to be a guest poster today to talk about the whole foreskin thing from a male perspective. I asked him to do it several times over the past few weeks but there was no post prepared for this evening. In fact, I’ll probably be asked to remove this part of the post by him after he reads it tonight. But I don’t think I will.

Anyway, in lieu of what I was hoping to give you, I’ve opted to take a creative route and I am combining Haiku Friday with the final installment of For Skin Fridays:

Intact penises
Unlike cut ones, have built in
Moisturization

No matter your choice
All parents really want is
A happy penis

And that, my friends, is all I have to say about that. For other haikus click on the pretty button below.

In case I haven’t ever mentioned this, I am an esteemed alumnus of the Robert E. Cook Honors College of Indiana University of Pennsylvania (RECHC for short). For each unit of honors core we had to use the knowledge gained from our class to answer specific core questions. For instance, for my first unit the core question was: What is good, what is bad, therefore, what do I do? And joy of joys I got to take philosophy for that unit. My proffessor, Dr. B, was an intimidating but totally cool woman who started off the class by asking us why incest was wrong and then, when we gave reasons, she disproved all of them. And when we were all shaken and scared and convinced that incest was, in fact, totally ok, she informed us that it was wrong because it was a socially prescribed paradigm. Hello, world of relativity. Ugh.

Anyway, over the past couple weeks I have given some history of circumcision as well as my own personal experience with circumcision as an adult. And now that I have that knowledge, what do I do?

Well, I have to say that it is my belief that circumcision, like most of the other rules listed in Leviticus, was most likely enforced for hygiene purposes. Perhaps it was even a way for the people back then who followed the Jewish (or Muslim) religion to distinguish themselves from their gentile counterparts. In this day and age, however, I see foreskin pretty much the same way as I see tonsils; it’s a part of the body that does serve a specific function and removing it as a preventative measure or simply because it’s routine, does not make sense to me. Nor do I feel that it’s neccesary to physically alter any of my children as a means of showing a covenant to a god that I don’t believe exists.

Besides, I personally have pierced ears (and at one point my eyebrow and tongue were pierced too) and a tattoo, which, according to Judaism is a desecration of my body. Somehow I have a hard time seeing circumcision as being much different. In other words, if I have sons and they grow up and decide that, yes, they want to make their covenant with a particular god and that god demands foreskin, they are more than welcome to get a circumcision when they are old enough to decide for themselves. I won’t do that for them.

I’ve already discussed the matter with my parents (and even a lady from work…older Jewish women just looove to get all up in other people’s business, no matter how personal) and they understand our decision (this is CB’s decision too, by the way, not just mine). I figure the only people at this point who would be shocked to see foreskin on my babies would be my grandparents but I doubt they’ll ever have to change a diaper by the time we have kids, so no worries there.

So, I guess that nearly wraps us up. I’m trying to get a guest to post next Friday to give another perspective on circumcision before I bring Fridays For Skin to a close. Oh, and before I forget, as always, the contents herein are my opinion and my opinion only. I don’t think ill of parents who opt to circumcise their sons, it just simply isn’t what I plan to do.

SpoilerWarning! This post contains information regarding sex. More specifically it contains my opinions about sex with and without foreskin and will most likely contain information pertaining to my sex life and my fiancè’s wang. Family members, you have been warned. If you wish to keep the image of me in your mind pristine *snort* then I strongly advise against reading this post. *

I’m not sure at what point I knew that CB wasn’t circumcized. Obviously it was before the first time we met face to face and I definitely know that for a month or two before he came to visit I was plagued by the whole “what if his wiener is all scary looking and I’m afraid to touch it, let alone do all the other things with it that one does when one is all sexified and doin’ like they do on the Discovery Channel?”

Keep in mind that at that point we didn’t consider ourselves to be in a romanitc relationship. We knew we had feeling for each other but having never met in person we were definitely aware that there was a good chance that a lack of physical chemistry could bring our more amorous ideas to a screeching halt. My worries about the scare factor of an intact penis were strictly because I tend to put out on the first date am perpetually imagining doomsday scenarios and the only thing worse than having no physical chemistry at all is to be frightened by your new boyfriend’s equipment.

Anyway, CB and I met at the airport and were comfortable with each other right away (except for when he freaked out when a deer ran out onto the Parkway East on the way back to my apartment, but that’s a story for another day). We had been talking daily for almost six months and being together was wonderful. I can’t tell you how good it felt to be able to talk to him and hold his hand and see his face all at the same time.
I remember he commented on how I was smiling more now then he had ever seen me smile when we talked on the webcam together. That observation alone made me realize I’d be dropping my pants at some point that evening a life with CB would make me a much happier person.

Anyway, one thing led to another and all those things led to us being on my bed and getting undressed. I remember that when CB took his boxers off I involuntarily shut my eyes. I hadn’t been with anyone in almost a year at that point and I’m not sure what I was more scared of: dissapointing CB by being a crappy lover or having issues with his foreskin. CB knew I was nervous and was understanding and patient and when I opened my eyes and looked it realized there was no reason to worry. It looked like any other penis…just, well, covered more.

Ooh, and here’s the best part. Okay, girls who have done it with a cut penis, hopefully you know what I mean…you know right when the penis is going in, there’s almost like, a sharp sensation? Not, like, ouch, knife sharp but more like…like how an orange must feel when you stick a wooden juicer into the middle of it? Well when the penis has foreskin, that sensation isn’t there. Entry feels a lot smoother and to me that’s much more enjoyable.

And you know that drop of pre-ejaculate (pre cum in laymen’s terms)? Well when I was with circumcized guys that was kind of like “ew, wipe it off” but with foreskin that drop of fluid is preserved and serves as a lubricant for the man. Know what that means? No rawness or chafing after repeated intercourse! Hooray!!

When I was 18 I had a boyfriend who was 16 and we had a lotalotalot of sex. I mean, I was in college and had a dorm room and hey, he was a sophomore banging a college chick. It did a lot for his libido. Anyway, I always used to feel so bad because after a weekend with me at IUP he would go home looking like he’d been masturbating with sandpaper gloves. Why? Because no matter how much natural lube a woman produces, with an uncovered, unlubed glans the guy is bound to look a bit like hamburger after fitting a weeks worth of sex into 2 days.

CB on the other hand?
He didn’t even get why American films always include lotion as preparation for a masturbation scene. I had to explain it to him because no extra lube is needed for uncircumcised crank yanking. As Heather accurately observed in an e-mail, indeed, KY does not have a huge market here in Western Europe.

Anyway, moving on.
What I’m trying to say is, for me, sex with an uncircumcised man is more enjoyable. I’m never hurting or sore during or afterwards (even with the gentlest guy, I sometimes hurt during or after sex with a circumcised partner) and everything feels just as good, if not better because there’s less of the uncomfortable type of friction.

So there you have it. That’s pretty much what I have to say about riding the hooded hobby horse. Next week I think I’ll address my opinions and intentions toards circumcizing any of our future children. I’m also working on having an interesting twist to end my Fridays For Skin the week after that so stay tuned!

* Apparently I am a strong believer in the power of red text. I only came to this realization just now. Go figure.

In this, the first true installment of Fridays For Skin, I am opting to discuss non-sexual aspects of circumcision. Only because, if I went straight to the sex part it would be way to reminiscent of most of my past relationships then you’d all get what you wanted right away and dump my ass as fast as all the guys I put out for then the magic and suspense would just be snuffed right out of the experience.

Growing up in a Jewish family in middle class America, I’m sure you can imagine that for me, circumcision was never something I considered to be optional. It just was. Every boy, to my knowledge, was circumcized as a baby. In fact, I viewed (erm, well, I didn’t actually view it at this point)foreskin as something akin to the appendix – completely expendable and something that evolution should have just done away with already.

The only difference I knew about until I was 18 was that Jewish boys are circumcised during a bris by a mohel(pronounced “moil”) when they are 8 days old while non-Jewish boys are usually circumcised by a doctor before they even leave the hospital (Muslim circumcisions being an exception).

The Jewish reasoning behind circumcision is biblical (Genesis 17:11 and Leviticus 12:3). In short, circumcision is a symbol marking the covenant between god and the Jewish people. Poor Abraham had to do his own circumcision when he was 99. I tend to think that, like keeping kosher, this action was made biblical law in order to ensure cleanliness and hygiene in a society of nomadic people in a hot place with no soap or running water. Because yes, at the time the Bible was written everyone bathed in scented oils and was generally pretty skanky from living in cities with no sewage systems and sleeping with their camels.

Gentile circumcision, from what I gather, was initially used as a means of preventing masturbation (I guess that’s what they used when threats of hairy palms, loss of vision and eternal damnation didn’t work) and then later was considered a medical procedure to treat certain maladies (not all penis related). Routine hospital circumcisions became the norm mostly in Anglo countries such as the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Britain and seem to have been done as a preventative measure or for hygiene purposes. However, recently most of these countries have backed off of circumcision and many parent are opting to allow their boys to keep their foreskin.

Either way, all I knew was that every penis I’d ever seen had been circumcized and I honestly had no clue that some guys actually had foreskin for longer than 8 days of their life.

When I went to college I made a friend who had had a fling with a French guy who (gasp!) wasn’t circumcized. Eeewww! And she had naked pictures! EWWWW! And of course we all got to see them! Weeeee! And they ended up being sort of blurry and hard to really see the penis but still, this was a totally new concept for me. Not everyone had a circumcised penis. Egads.

But still, I had several boyfriends throughout my undergraduate years and all of them were circumcised. One guy I knew was even pierced. Truly, in my age cohort in America a Prince Albert is easier to find than an intact penis.
Point being, I still hadn’t actually SEEN a real live uncircumcized penis until I started working in daycare. I remember the first time I changed the diaper of a boy who wasn’t circumcised and did a double take. It sort of looked like…well…imagine a bald guy who is wearing a turtleneck. Then imagine he pulls the neck part up over his face and head.

That’s pretty much all their is to it.

You can definitely tell there’s a penis underneath, but the features are sort of, well covered in a big sleeve.

Sometimes the boys who were cut would see one of the boys that wasn’t and ask me why his penis looked different. And since the kids were two I usually answered something along the lines of, “Everybody is different and looks different. Some boys have your kind of penis and other boys have the other kind of penis just like some boys have blond hair and other boys have brown hair.” Or something equally as bland and PC.

And really, I didn’t find it to be a big deal at all.

Until I met CB.

****I’d like your opinions on something. Would you like me to make CB put a Mr. Linky up here for anyone that would like to join this discourse via their own blog? I’d be more than happy to have this be the hub for bloggers that want to discuss their opinions, experiences, etc. regarding circumcision. And of course, if anyone would like to do so, you’re more than welcome to gank the pretty button at the top of the post if you decide you’d like to write your own post(s) regarding this matter. I do ask that you link it back here if you decide to use it.****

Lately CB has been keeping track of things that come up in conversation that he thinks I should be blogging about. Personally, I think it’s because he wants me to stop mucking around in the off and on depression that I’ve been dealing with for several months now. And while part of me wants to rant and rave and be all “it’s my friggin blog and I’ll do what I want” I do realize that no one is interested in my moping (except maybe me when I’m feeling self indulgent) so I caved and agreed to posting about some things that have been compiled on CB’s list.

One thing that CB came up with entirely on his own (I’ve never even dared to think about blogging about it) is the matter of penises (penii?). More specifically, the difference in attitudes regarding circumcision between the USA and Europe. And there’s the added Judaism aspect that also plays into the whole circumcision thing as well. Last weekend CB allowed…nay, encouraged me, basically, to blog about foreskin (including his…actually, especially his, since his is the only foreskin I’ve ever been up close and personal with).

Sadly, within the past 2 or 3 days there was some sort of blog-splosion all over the A-List Blogger territory (Dooce, DGM, Finslippy etc.) regarding circumcision and blogger/parents’ reactions to it.  I balked at continuing what will likely be a series of 3 or 4 posts that I had decided to dub “Fridays For Skin” because I figured a lot of you out there probably stumbled over the circumcision hoopla just like I did and I didn’t want you to think I had ganked my inspiration from the big guns.

Thing is, CB totally wants me to tell you all about his schlong.  He’s been bugging me all damn week about Fridays For Skin. And if my fiancè wants me to tell all of my readers about the joys of foreskin, that’s what I’m gonna do.

I have to keep my man happy after all.